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Eric Limer

Geists, Ranked

10. Ageist

Has all the right letters but not a real geist.

9. Teamgeist

Sounds like an pretentious 8th grader giving a pep talk at lacrosse practice and trying to fake like he knows German after his parents dragged him on a trip to Cologne. And apparently it’s actually a soccer ball? That’s dumb as fuck.


8. Geist(s)

All non-modified geists, including the global corporation (which provides data center monitoring solutions, from power strips to full DCIM systems), the Gamecube game (66 on metacritic), and the “real” “life” “super” “hero” (aliases: The Emerald Cowboy, The Emerald Enforcer). The lack of a adjective makes these geists only slightly better than the very dumbest of the more descriptive geists.

7. Poltergeist

A little overexposed. Also I hear it’s a pretty good movie but it sounds too scary for me to watch so I’ll never really know.


6. Strangleroot Geist


Looks pretty scary and Undying sounds like a decent power, but it gets points off for not being all one word.

5. Geist of Saint Traft


Maaaaajor points off for leading with the “geist” part but hexproof seems pretty baller and this thing goes for like $17 on Amazon which seems like a lot to me.

4. Zeitgeist

Also overexposed, but points for the Z (z’s are always cool). Also the ei**ei is nice. I like the repetition.


3. Volksgeist

Again, sounds pretty neat; like z’s, v’s are also cool. Also it means “spirit of the people” or “national character” and is a way cooler word than like, “patriotism.”


2. Weltgeist

I can’t figure out exactly what it means just from the Wikipedia page but it sounds pretty boss.

The term spirit world as a metaphysical principle is first known as the central concept of the speculative philosophy of Hegel : For him, the whole historical reality, the totality , the process of the world spirit.


Also it sounds scarier than a poltergeist, tbh. This fucker will leave you with welts, yo.

1. Himbeergeist


84 proof raspberry schnapps motherfuckers. Game over.

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